First off let me just say “Fuck Hurricane Irma”.

*UPDATED 9/19/2017*

Aside from millions of Floridians being left without power still to this day (9/14), this giant whore coming into town completely ruined my and your college football watching experience for Saturday afternoon if you lived in FL.

  • Notre Dame/Georgia
  • Clemson/Auburn
  • Oklahoma/Ohio State
  • Stanford/Southern California

All 4 of these games were supposed to air on ABC, FOX, CBS, etc. but instead of playing on the local stations, that attention seeking bitch completely dominated my TV and I was left catching updates via Twitter and the ESPN box score tracker. Some would even state that this is NOT ideal.

Bullshit aside though, until late yesterday evening I was one of the millions of people in FL left without power for over 100 hours and football was the least of my concerns. You forget how much you take electricity, hot water, ice, and even lighting for granted when you’re left without it.

If you were an optimist, you might say “Hey this is a good time to unplug, bond with your family, and discover what you can truly live without”…

If you were a person thinking this while the power was out, props to you. If you said this around me as I sweated while attempting to sleep through the constant sound of generators, you’d have a tender welt on your head where I bludgeoned with my no-service-having cell phone as you read this.


YOU THE REAL MVP(S) – Kevin Durant

Due to the late return of electricity at my home and now my work schedule of damage assessments with for the State, I decided to do a write up for this weeks episode given the time restraints.

As I type this Boise St/New Mexico St has already kicked off, the Texans have already allowed Deshaun Watson to be sacked, and Andy Dalton has probably thrown an INT.

Guess who went 5-0 last weekend?

Hopefully one of you readers/listeners because your boy went 3-2 and only added $3.34 to the bank roll. Is that good?

Well, it’s definitely not bad but not as good as Week 1.


  • #23 TCU (-3) at Arkansas: This game was evidence of the old school Gary Patterson. The innovative offense combined with an attacking defense. The Razorbacks simply could sustain drives and Austin Allen was tormented all afternoon by the Horned Frogs disguised blitzes completing less than 40% of his pass attempts.
    • TCU may be the best team in Texas and the 3rd best in the Big 12. Keep an eye on them.
    • Arkansas needs to improve on 3rd downs before SEC kicks into high gear if they want to make a bowl game
  • #13 Auburn at #3 Clemson (-5): Everyone wants to talk up Clemson’s stud ass D-Line but my game ball and credit goes to DC Brent Venables. He continues to adapt his players to frustrate opposing offenses week after week. Wanna grind it out like Alabama? Wanna run the super spread like Baylor? He has a plan for both and both involve sacking your QB. As for Auburn, Gus Malzahn better bring back Cam Newton if they want anything close to the offensive success they had during his tenure.
    • Clemson vs Louisville this weekend could decide the ACC Atlantic. A Clemson win could put them in prime position for a CFP run
    • Jarrett Stidham is not the 2nd coming of Tim Tebow. His Heisman hopes died with those 2 FG’s Auburn mustered
  • #5 Oklahoma at #2 Ohio St (-7): Where the fuck is the offense Urban Meyer? Did it vanish with Tom Herman leaving for Houston? This doesn’t fall squarely on JT Barrett. The Buckeyes offense is predictable and the secondary is suspect and Baker Mayfield proved that Indiana’s passing success wasn’t a fluke.
    • Baker Mayfield is the most dynamic QB in CFB not named Lamar Jackson. College Gameday is no doubt going to be at Bedlam this year
    • Ole Urban has 6 weeks to figure things out before Penn State comes calling
  • #15 Georgia at #24 Notre Dame (-4): While Jake Fromm didn’t make UGA fans completely forget about Jacob Eason, he was serviceable and rode his defense in a prime time road game with Touchdown Jesus watching. Notre Dame isn’t a bad team but they’re for sure not the team that ESPN sucked off all off season
    • Unless Kirby Smart wins 10 games this year or makes a NY6 bowl, Bulldogs fans will wish they kept Mark Richt
    • Brian Kelly is a child and the only coach in America who’s seat may be hotter is Kevin Sumlin.
  • #14 Stanford at #6 USC (-6): I hate that the USC hype train has caught my attention but, dammit if it isn’t fun watching them play. In a game where Stanford has dominated in recent years, the Trojans finally utilized their blue chip advantage and simply outclassed Stanford at every corner. Even with Sam Darnold throwing 2 INTs he hit 81% of his pass attempts. Fucking borderline surgical.
    • I’m buying my ticket now. USC will make the CFP
    • All hopes not lost for the Cardinal, win out and you’re in the NY6 no doubt. Lose to UCLA or Washington and say hello to the Sun Bowl

Alright for Week 3 I have five more games to pick and hopefully push that 69% (nice) win percentage in the 70’s.

#25 UCLA (-3) at Memphis

Why this game? Umm…because it’s a ranked team travelling across 2 time zones to play a Group 5 program and the ranked team is only a 3 pt favorite. To me that means Vegas is full chub on Memphis or has zero confidence in Josh Rosen after his comeback performance in Week 1. While there is a chance for a look-ahead with Stanford on deck next week, UCLA isn’t playing a Justin Fuentes coached Tigers team. With an extra week to prepare Memphis will likely keep it close at the half but expect the Bruins to run away in the 2nd half.

#23 Tennessee at #24 Florida (-5)

Everyone shits on the Gators for not having a QB, especially me but I can assure you I’d much rather have Jim McElwain run my program over Al Golden 2.0 AKA Butch Jones. Yes, Coach Mac have had some players in trouble but he’s not telling his fan base to be excited about his players being champions of life. UF hasn’t played in 2 weeks but with a rivalry game at home, you can expect the Gators to bring their best. Could the Volunteers come into Gainesville and pull off the upset? Absolutely. Somehow UT pulled out a lucky W last year in Knoxville. I think they have some pixie dust left over for this year.

#12 LSU (-7) at Mississippi St

SEC conference played has officially begun with the previous matchup and it continues here where both schools are finally done beating up scrubs. The biggest difference here in my mind comes to defense and it starts at the top with LSU DC Dave Aranda. He’s one of the top 5 highest paid coordinators in the country for a reason, he produces results. Add in the plethora of talent LSU has on hand and I don’t care who Miss St rolls out at QB, he’s going to be sore come Sunday morning. I almost forgot about Derrius Guice toting the rock for the Tigers. LSU shuts out the Bulldogs in Starkville.

#3 Clemson (-3) at #14 Louisville

I’d be lying if I didn’t say this wasn’t the hardest game for me to pick this week. Last season Clemson’s defense helped stave off some last minute heroics courtesy of Lamar Jackson at home and the Tigers went on to win the National Championship. Kelly Bryant is Deshaun Watson Lite and neither of them are Heisman Trophy winner Lamar Jackson. We saw Clemson’s offense struggle a bit against a decent Auburn defense and Louisville doesn’t play SEC quality defense, they rather just outscore you. Everyone watched Louisville’s offense completely crumble at the end of last season when the “right” type of pressure overwhelmed UL’s offensive line. This is essentially a chess match between Bobby Petrino and Brent Venables. I hate picking a road favorite but I sincerely won’t be mad if the Tigers lose.

Texas at #4 USC (-15)

Let’s be real for a minute, both of these teams have storied histories and Heisman winners from both schools, yet neither have suffocating defenses that led the greats had. Points will be scored and in bunches here. I’ve already told you I’m all in on the Trojans making the Playoff but at the same time there’s something in the back of my head that says Tom Herman could pull off the upset and the “Texas is back” talk will resume again for a few weeks till they lose to some scab ass team they should crush. Clearly USC has the QB advantage but that might be it other than home field advantage in this late night game. Fifteen points is a lot but Stanford has a better defense than the Longhorns and they still lost by 18 in a rivalry game. This game is either a blowout or late game banana sandwiches with cocaine and the game of the week. I’m going with my gut over my brain.

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Game Pick Result
#25 UCLA (-3) at Memphis UCLA -3 Memphis 48 – 45
#23 Tennessee at #24 Florida(-4) Tennessee +4 Florida 26 – 20
#12 LSU (-7) at Mississippi St LSU -7 Mississippi St 37 – 7
#3 Clemson (-3) at #14 Louisville Clemson -3 Clemson 47 – 21
Texas at #4 USC (-15) USC -15 USC 27 – 24

Other Bets:

Event Risk Win Result
Illinois at USF (-10)*

Baylor at Duke (-7.5)*

$1.23 $0.98 USF 47 – 23

Duke 34 – 20

Oklahoma St (-4) at Pittsburgh $1.00 $0.95 Oklahoma St 59 – 21
Stanford at San Diego St (+9) $1.00 $0.87 San Diego St 20 – 17
Ole Miss (ML) at California $1.00 $0.41 California 27 – 16
LSU at Mississippi St

OVER 50.5

$1.00 $0.71 Mississippi St 37 – 7

* Denotes Teaser Bet

Overall Record: 12 – 6

Week 3 Record: 1 – 4

Starting Balance: $67.73

Ending Balacne: $65.33