While doing my monthly computer back-up, I came across something I wrote back in April 2014. Is it great? No.
But I figure it groups nicely with the other BS post I put out a while back. This is another edition of Tales from the C: Drive

First off here’s a DISCLAIMER for those you who A) hate long posts or B) only read while you’re in the bathroom. If you’re a group A individual, there’s an ‘X’ in the corner of the screen you should click now.

However if you relate to group B here’s a few preemptive tips: provide courtesy flushes if you’re in public or at work, stand up occasionally to prevent your feet from going numb, and wipe twice more than you think is appropriate.

That being said, this is the first article/blog post I’ve ever written and allowed people to read and approximately 40% of it was written with the assistance of friend named Cabernet Sauvignon. Here goes…

Even though I was born in 1989, I grew up in the 90s and was just getting into the heyday of AIM (AOL Instant Messenger for those under 20) during middle school after talking on your home’s landline was no longer cool.

While chatting with some deviant schoolmate of mine, I first encountered the acronym “LOL”, which I had no idea what it meant or stood for at the time. Little did I know that these 3 seemingly random letters would soon become a global response to almost every statement sent via text message.

Over time as texting went through it’s rapid growth period from T9 texting on Nokias’ > Motorola RAZR and Blackberry phones > to Sidekicks and ultimately the 1st generation iphone, that 3 letter disgrace of word became more and more prevalent.

I’m roughly 70% certain that the first text message I received on my old Nextel from a friend (MA) included that horrid grouping of letters that I’ve previously referred to. As “LOL” reached its apex, a vast number of acronyms sprouted from the laziness of the English language including: “BTW”, “JK”, “LMAO”,  “OMG”,“ROFL”, “TTYL”, and “WTF”.

Now before you start to scrutinize and throw various kinds of hate my direction, the majority of these, especially when used in conjunction with Twitter, I have no problem with. I have a problem with what these new shorthands eventually evolved into, which is where we get into the bulk of this post, EMOTICONS.

If you were to Google the origin of the emoticon you’d find that a gentleman by the name of Scott Fahlman has been initially credited as the creator of the emoticon back in 1982 while responding to a bulletin board at Carnegie Mellon University.

While I’m sure Mr. Fahlman’s intentions were good hearted and simply a way to convey an intended emotion of the message, 30 years later his simple solution has led to a slow reduction of human intellect and communication.

Think back to what you’ve learned throughout your life in just your K-12 academia. Even if you have the slightest recollection of history, I’d guarantee you’ve heard of Egypt. If Egypt rings a bell then hieroglyphics should also jar that memory of yours and potentially remind you of time when you’d channel your inner Lionel Messi and kick the shit of out of those roller backpacks that kids used to drag around school.

Hieroglyphics are one of the first forms of sequential art where images are used to tell stories before words were a mainstay in communication and literature. Around the same time or possibly before, (I was a Psych major not Anthropology) cavemen used a similar way to portray experiences that assisted with passing on knowledge to the next generation of sentient humans.

Really, just think of how limited our ancestors range of thought was compared to current times. He/She could’ve absolutely dominated a clan of people with the knowledge of how to start a fire vs. today when most us are in some form of awe when we meet someone who can code HTML or Flash or simply remember what SIN, COS, and TAN represent in Trigonometry.

Open Instagram or Facebook or Twitter and give one full swipe of your screen or keyboard and tell me how many emoticons you spot in just a single thumb drag of your chosen application.

Go ahead do it, if I was a Vegas bookie I’d set the over/under at +2.5.

If you’re under then you either have too little friends/followers or you’re connected with people who are probably more successful than you are in the financial realm (this is a good thing).

I’m a firm believer in the quote “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with” – Jim Rohn. If you’re way over the +2.5 then I’d be willing to bet you eat McDonald’s or Burger King at least twice a week and have zero idea who Edward Snowden is or where Crimea is located.

While you could say I’ve strayed off topic here and there or have yet to even define a topic, the point I’m trying to make is that we, people of generation Y and maybe Z (if that’s been clarified) have become lethargic and more worthless. The late Greg Giraldo had a joke about our vernacular now compared to the early 1900s which you can watch here:

Today we have cars that will parallel park themselves and apply the brakes when we drive too close to other vehicles and exoskeleton suits that can increase human strength 10x fold.

I’m all for innovation and technological advantages but fuck, we’re living in a time when people are so adamant on instant gratification and relying on computers that it’s not wonder obesity is at an all time high and almost 10% of Americans are diabetic.

Think about it how much long it takes for you to text “hahahaha” or “hilarious” or any other word to depict the emotion of humor…probably under 5 seconds.

The next time you’re considering using the emoticon of a smiley face crying laughing, why not use “you had me in tears”, (that took me 8.41 seconds; I timed it) I highly doubt you couldn’t spare 10 seconds.

Seriously, you’re reading this post and it has absolutely taken more than a minute to even scan over this bad boy, even if I add pictures it’d be closer to 90 seconds. You could argue that it’s more efficient to use a small yellow face or “LOL” to respond to a text because it saves time and you’re so busy but in all actuality you’re NOT.

You’re an arrogant individual just like me who believes they’re above common decency and may actually believe that people care what you say.

Cabernet in full effect, I’m starting to become redundant and redirect to another tangent, you’re likely no longer reading and this wasn’t even 1500 words. I overestimated myself. Jordan out.